"The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God" by: Timothy and Kathy Keller

 Age: 16+

Description: Renowned pastor of New York’s Redeemer Presbyterian Church and author of The Songs of Jesus, Timothy Keller with his wife of 36 years, delivers The Meaning of Marriage, an extraordinarily insightful look at the keys to happiness in marriage that will inspire Christians, skeptics, singles, long-time married couples, and those about to be engaged.

Modern culture would make you believe that everyone has a soul-mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but merely for now; that starting over after a divorce is the best solution to seemingly intractable marriage issues. All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong.

Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

 

My Rating: 5/5

In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy and Kathy Keller carefully discuss various aspects of marriage, providing biblical teaching to support their advice. Throughout their book, they reference their reason for the book’s conception – “that through marriage, ‘the mystery of the gospel is unveiled’” (Keller 44). Hoping to encourage couples and singles to honor and glorify the Lord through their relationships, the Kellers explain the powerful representation that marriage is of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I believe a book such as this is greatly needed in today’s culture. The media endlessly advertises self-centered marriages and relationships, which is directly the opposite of what Scripture commands.

While this is a book about marriage specifically, Keller did not neglect the unmarried. There was much practical advice for relationships in general. If acted upon and applied into daily life, that will set a sturdy foundation for if/when the commitment of marriage arises. In particular, I think it is important that he did not hide the difficulties of marriage. He spoke of the hard work that it takes to build into a relationship because “no two people are compatible” (Keller 32).

One of my favorite things this book talked about was how the word “commitment” is viewed today. In the secular world, this word can seem scary or daunting. Keller explains that this is why a couple will live together without marrying – they fear the eternally bonding commitment that marriage brings, despite their fervid love. “Real love, the Bible says, instinctively desires permanence” (Keller 90). That is so beautiful! In a healthy biblical marriage, commitment is a gift to your spouse. By committing, you are declaring your present and future love. I think the issue of premarital cohabitation is relevant and needs to be addressed. I appreciate the biblical honesty that Keller brought to the topic.

I really enjoyed this book and the clarity with which Keller explained issues of intimacy, pornography, homosexuality and fornication. His desire to share not merely advice, but also biblical truth is evident in his incorporation of Scripture. To sum up, the meaning of marriage is to glorify God with your spouse through intimacy, relational growth and spiritual growth, thereby reflecting the gospel.

<b>Notable Quotes:</b>
"If our views of marriage are too romantic and idealistic, we underestimate the influence of sin on human life." (Page 40)

"Most people, when they are looking for a spouse, are looking for a finished statue when they should be looking for a wonderful block of marble." (Page 133)

"Jesus died not because we were lovely, but to make us lovely." (Page 135)

"Perhaps the most damaging statements that have ever been said about us are those things we have said about ourselves to ourselves." (Page 162)

<b><u>Things to be aware of in "The Meaning of Marriage"</b></u>

<b>Language:</b>
- 2 forms of "hell" or "miserable as hell"
- 1 "stupid"
- A couple forms of name calling including: "loser"

<b>Romantic Content:</b>
- Naturally, there is a lot of discussion about sex, intimacy and nakedness.

 

Links to the book: Amazon and Goodreads.

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